Teacher Self-Care

Self-care!  It's the latest fad.  Take yourself out to lunch, get a pedicure, do some yoga... These things are great, but are they really self-care?  I often find that when I'm feeling exhausted and ready for a melt-down, self care ends up as another item on my to -do list.  Or, if I do indulge, the entire time I'm getting my pedicure, I'm thinking about all the things I SHOULD be doing, checking email and responding to texts,  totally out of the moment of the experience

The bottom line is that if this kind of self-care helped us feel more confident and empowered, we would easily build in the spa days and dinners out.  Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, a board-certified psychiatrist and Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at George Washington University School of Medicine is passionate about women's health. She defines self-care as "the internal hard work of making tough decisions for yourself and by yourself.  It starts with recognizing that you have limits, and you really do have to choose what you prioritize.  It's actually not that pleasant of a process, because it means you have to set boundaries."  

This means that we have to learn how to say no and recognize that it's nobody else's responsibility to say no for us.  "No." is a complete sentence.  We can still be good people with kind hearts and still say "NO."  This is especially difficult for women educators because we are in the service of children.  We certainly didn't choose this career because of the fame and fortune that go with our titles.  We chose this career because we truly believe we can make a difference.  And we DO!

If we're going to survive this profession, setting limits and maintaining boundaries means we have to stop letting our super-hero-oriented educational culture disconnect us from our values.  Burn out is an epidemic for women educators and sets teachers up to leave their career, often in the first five years of teaching.

For me, setting limits and maintaining boundaries means protecting my time, stopping and thinking whenever anyone asks me to do something , and remembering that I have the choice of how I respond. I can say yes knowing there's no more time in my day and feel resentful and overwhelmed, I can say no, or I can negotiate.  For most women in education, we often don't feel like we have an option to choose.

Now, as a mature woman educator with more life experience and perspective, I've learned that we always end up paying, one way or another.  So, part of learning to set boundaries is internalizing the fact that you do have limits and there is nothing wrong with that.  There's always more to do.  More papers to grade, bulletin boards to put up, Back-to-School nights and Open Houses to host.  Not to mention the additional education you may be pursuing so you can do your craft even better and because you LOVE learning.  

You need to recognize that it may feel bad to set boundaries at first.  We recognize the inherent privilege and burden of teaching and caring for young people, and are more comfortable sacrificing our own needs in the service of others.  Self-care is valuing your own feelings and thoughts despite knowing you may let others down. It means not owning their disappointment.

Boundaries are a compassionate means of clearly identifying our needs and CHOOSING our response.  This is about being responsible for taking care of our own emotions.  You will end up learning to value your time, your feelings, and your goals.  You also need to recognize that setting limits and maintaining boundaries in order to take care of ourselves is not a one-shot thing.  It must be repeated regularly until it becomes second nature. Then you can truly enjoy the pedicure or massage.

Treat yourself as you would your best friend.  You're worth it!